Acceptance
by WarriorofAnime
Summary: "Touka, you know he is gone." And looking at her reflection in the window of the abandoned house, she realizes the sudden urge she has to kill. Touka/Kaneki


Onee-Chan," Hinami whispered as Touka approached her at a steady pace. "Onee-Chan, what happened?" She can't respond. Embracing Hinami, she rested her chin on top of the young ghoul's hair biting her lower lip with as much force possible. "Onii-Chan is gone, Onee-Chan!"

"He's not," the words slipped out of her mouth in a brutal manner, as if she was spitting. "Kaneki will return, Hinami-Chan. He will. He will come back so you don't have to cry." She was persuading herself. She was in denial, but she liked the feeling. It was like hope, but a bitter one- One that left her eyes stinging and her throat burning. She hadn't seen his body yet. Until she saw his dead body or kagune being used as a quinque, there was a chance that he was still alive.

"Onee-Chan," Hinami whimpers, as their hug ends and more tears pour out of her eyes. "I don't think Onii-Chan made it this time."

.

.

.

There was silence as she trailed behind Yomo-San, like a lost puppy following someone who offered her a place to stay. Hinami-Chan hadn't come with her. She had disallowed her from following them, leaving her to Banjou-San to take care of. Her decision had not been because she didn't want Hinami to be by her side, but because she didn't want her to get hurt.

Everyone she had truly cared for ended up dying so fast. She couldn't register anything anymore. The Manager was gone, Komo-San and Irimi-San were gone, and she refused to think about _him _after her talk with Hinami-Chan.

That's what she told herself, but all she could think about was Anteiku, which led to him. He had to be alive. He had gone through so much and made it through. She had been such an ass, she reminded herself. From the beginning till the end, she had been a horrible person to him. Her last words had been the worst, though.

**"Trash like you should stay out of Anteiku!"**

He was still alive somewhere. She would get her chance to make up for everything she had said and done to him. Her eyes began burning again, and then Yomo-San's voice broke her train of thoughts.

"We'll stay here for tonight," he said, and she nodded, gazing emptily at the abandoned house he had found.

.

.

.

That night she dreamed. Dreamed with all the possible things she could have done to prevent everyone from leaving her. All the things she should have said. All the things she shouldn't have done. For some reason, the dream brought her happiness. To be able to give her father one last hug. To be able to smile at Ayato without having him respond with a glare. To thank the Manager for all that he had done for her and her brother. To talk with Irimi-San. To tease Komo-San. To eat lunch with Yoriko. To work with Nishiki-San. To play with Hinami-Chan's hair. To train with Kaneki, and to ask him why.

Why he hadn't let her go with him. Why he had to leave Anteiku. Why he couldn't have just stayed and put everything in the past. Why he had to try and be a hero.

All of those events which she yearned for- Which she knew wouldn't happen ever again. When she wakes up, she's alone and the sweater she used to rest her head on is moist.

.

.

.

"Eat," Yomo-San told her, tossing her the hand of an old man he had just killed. Touka grabbed it before it hit the floor, tilting her head to observe it.. Nostalgia waved past her as she remembered her first proper encounter with Kaneki. "Eat," he repeated, and she bit it, taking a large mouthful. "We'll leave tomorrow at dawn."

After she swallowed, she inquired, "Where to?", but he didn't reply. "Where to?" she repeated, but silence remained to be her answer. Anger swelled, and tossed the remainder of her food on the ground. Standing up, she asked again, with rage and frustration mixed together, "Where to?"

"Touka," he said, and she punched the wall.

"You don't know where we are going, do you?" she asked, but she knew the answer. He didn't.

.

.

.

"Have you thought about it?" she asked later on, after they had finished eating. "What we'll do?"

"Touka, as of right now," he began, "all I have to do is ensure your safety."

"I'm not a child," she hissed, "I am strong, and can become stronger. Don't worry about me and find a place where we can stay."

"Fix your mentality and then worry about becoming stronger, he said, and her hand clenched immediately.

"What do you mean?" Touka inquired, her whole body trembling.

"You know perfectly well," he responded. "Give up on your false hopes."

"He's still alive," she yelled at him, seconds later. "If me saying that Kaneki will return is false hopes then you're insane. Let's go back to Anteiku! Let's stay there and you'll see!"

"Touka, you know he is gone."

And looking at her reflection in the window, she realizes the sudden urge she has to kill.


End file.
